The issue of co parenting has become a common landmark in today's child rearing landscape. With divorce rates high, co parenting is an interesting option with the child's best interest always the prime objective. Many children have gone through the anguish of seeing their parents firstly break up, then divorce, and the experience can often be traumatic.

Research has shown with proper guided support,divorce affected children will suffer fewer traumatic consequences. Co parenting done the right way has attributed to this. But make no mistake, while co parenting sounds like an obvious solution, achieving harmony between two adults going through divorce is difficult at the best of times. There are several rules laid down in a co parenting plan.

The child is never put in the middle, between the parents.

That means that the parents must communicate directly and often, no matter how uncomfortable that is. The child must never carry information from one parent to the other. The parents must talk frequent so that both know what is going on with the child, and what is going on in both families.

The child’s relationship with each parent is supported and encouraged.

Parents do not try to one-up each other or curry favor with the child. They don’t denigrate or criticize each other, either, and they don’t allow the children to criticize the other parent. A co parenting agreement should state that both parents will respect the child’s relationship with the other parent. Issues between the parents stay between the parents and are not discussed in front of the children.

Boundaries and rules are agreed upon and enforced in both households.

Bedtimes, TV limits, when friends can stay over…all the rules that were in force when the family lived in one household have to be renegotiated and reinforced. Keeping them consistent in both households gives the children more stability and security.

Both parents discuss any discipline issues.

Children will push the limits of this new situation, they will try to play the parents off against each other and they will act out. The parents must communicate frequently about any behavior issues the child has. They must agree on appropriate discipline and both parents must enforce the discipline. If Annie is grounded for a week for putting gravy in Dad’s fishbowl, Mom has to be aware of what happened, and Annie has to be grounded at Mom’s house, too.

Co parenting allows the children in a divorce to remain children. It minimizes the disruption the children experience and allows them to heal from the divorce more quickly. It establishes and enforces healthy boundaries and ensures consistent rules and discipline. It costs the parents emotionally because they must set their differences aside in order to put the needs of their children first, and it’s a bit hectic. When parents divorce, co parenting assures the best possible outcome for their children.

Co parenting is a phase described as separation or divorce between two adults who by all reports, are sensitive to their childs needs and avoid putting the child in the middle of a parental split. Divorcing amicably is a term you often hear; the truth is that most times it's just a myth. The potential for either parent to play the dangerous game of one upmanship by using a child as a weapon exists. By implementing a solid co-parenting program, divorcing parents are made to see that it's not just a two person war and there is more at stake than just their pride.